Opinions and advice

Opinions. They're like belly buttons. Everybody's got one, but most of the time you don't want it rubbed right in your face. But that's exactly what people do when they give you unsolicited advice. They take their big, nasty, lint-filled belly button and rub it all over your poor little face. Smell the belly button. SMELL IT!!!!

Sometimes, if the person is a close friend, or if they're a bit of an expert on a subject, you don't mind. Any of my close friends know me well enough to know when it's a good idea to mention something they think I could do differently, and when it's a better plan to just keep quiet, let me make my own mistakes and be there later to pick up the pieces. As for experts, even I know that if someone who really knows what they're talking about wants to help you out, you're probably best to listen.

The problem is, most people just think they're experts....especially at things like relationships. They tell all sorts of stuff. Things that are often the exact opposite of what you're doing, or what you would do. Otherwise what's the point of telling you. No sense in advising someone you already think is doing it right. The problem is, these people usually aren't your friends. They're probably coworkers, or friends of friends, or something else. The key though is they don't know you. They don't understand what makes you tick. Their advice is filtered through their own experiences, likes and dislikes, and their own successes and failures. Not yours.

They tell me to take it slow. Or to give her space. Or they tell me it's common law after 6 months and she could totally screw me over. They remind me that she doesn't have a job, and say she's "freeloading". They say it's too soon after "T". Too soon for her to have moved in. Too soon to have gone ring shopping 'just to look". Too soon to have bought the ring. Too soon to be talking about her as the partner I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

It's not everyone of course. The vast majority of people have been very supportive. They're happy for me because I'm happy. They see the hope in my eyes, and the smile I just can't shake and they know that this time it's real. They know that when you know, you just know. That when the right person comes along there is no such thing as too soon, or too fast.

But it's the naysayers I'm talking about here. The people who have had bad experiences and heartbreaks and just want to project them onto my life. They have made bad choices them selves, or been hurt, or taken advantage of, and haven't been able to shake it off and move forward. Well you know what naysayers? I've been hurt too. And I've made bad choices. I've been taken advantage of. And for a long time, I wouldn't, no....couldn't shake that off. I've had "friends" stab me in the back. I've ignored all the warning signs and dove headfirst into shallow water only to have it turn out just as bad as you'd expect. But, I've learned from those experiences, and then I took what I learned and I've finally been able to move. I have baggage, just like everybody else, but I try my best not to project previous failures onto my present situation with "E". And I certainly don't need other people trying to project their own baggage, and fears and failures onto my relationship with "E". She and I are in love. We're fully committed to making this work, and seeing it through right til the end.....which will be a very long time from now.

So you naysayers.....stop your naysaying, and get your damned belly buttons out of my face.