Well, basically, I screwed up my own policy of anonymity, and it came back to bite me on the ass. Since things were going so well with "E", I thought it would be safe to not only tell her the blog addy, but also let her tell her buds.
So that worked out fine for about a week, and then the events leading to the "Ugly on the Outside" post happened. As outlined in the post, I was pretty upset at first, but then I got over it, and feel better about the whole thing. End of story.
Or was it.
Well, for starters, "E" was upset because I wrote about my concern that her and her pals inviting me out for wings was just to make fun of me, when she had explained prior to me blogging that it most definitely not. She actually invited me along because she was really upset, and wanted me there as a friend because she'd gotten a call from her doctor regarding a very abnormal PAP result. I know she's not lying about this, so my concerns had been alleviated prior to my writing the post, however I wrote it the way I did because I was outlining my thought process as it happened, and that was my first thought. Should I have explained the specific conclusion to that event....probably....but I didn't. Sorry "E".
Next concern was from "E" and "S's" friend "C". She's one of the friends that I jointly criticized for enjoying mocking people and making fun of them. She felt pretty hurt that I thought she was horrible and mean. Fair enough. But I don't think she's a bad person, I just really don't think that's the best hobby to have. I'm sure in a few years, looking back, they'd all feel pretty bad about it. I really can imagine myself going out on a plenty of fish blind date with a girl and have it end up being a posse of friends just there to make fun of me. But I never meant to make you feel bad, so I'll add a sorry "C".
And then the real reason for the change of locations. The original cause of the post. "S". Pretty much as soon as it went up, "E" was concerned that "S" would be incredibly mad at her. Since as laid out in my blog post, "E" had nothing to do with me finding "S's" blog, the only reason I could figure for this was that "E" had told her the truth about me reading the blog. I didn't actually find it through "E's" blog, but I made up that story, because it was possible, and to protect "E" in case "S" was upset. The truth is that "E" gave me the addy (without even screening it for content) apparently without asking "S" if it was ok. Whoops. So she scrambled the jets the other day and told "S" about me reading it and being upset. Of course "S" felt bad, she felt horrible. And then my post comes out and "E's" kinda caught in the middle like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar.
Also, both "C" and "E" thought my comment about "S's" marriage was uncalled for and overly mean. I can kinda see their point....but I really don't think I should be the one worrying about stepping on toes and upsetting people in this situation. "S's" marriage fell apart in a flurry of craziness and abuse from her husband. "E" is legitimately concerned that one day "S's" husband might still come along and kill her. But does that make me posting a snide comment about the whole affair off limits? I don't think it does. I know it's wrong to blame the victim in situations of abuse. But, if something happens once, you're a victim. If something happens twice, you're still a victim, but maybe you need to take a look at what you could do differently. If it happens over and over again, you're not a victim anymore, you're an accessory.
From her own blog post, she says she considers herself pretty but not very smart or interesting. My thoughts were simply that maybe if she had a little higher opinion of herself she might have found a different guy, or gotten away from that one sooner. I don't know the whole back story, I only met "S" in November, so I'm not an expert on her life....just sharing the same thoughts I would have about nearly anyone in a similar situation. So yeah, I've left that part of the post intact.
"E", "C", and "S" were all readers of the old blog....and apparently that wasn't a good idea. I may tell "E" about this one, because she's my love, my heart, and my best friend, and I want her to know what I'm thinking. But the other two don't need to see it. And since I can't erase their knowledge of where the old site is, I had to move. That's that.
As for the new name. Well, I figured I might as well look to the post that caused the move for inspiration. Basically, I'm so ugly, that I play Monopoly just to get the self-esteem boost that pulling the "You won second prize in a beauty contest, collect $10" gives. :D
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